Mr Angry

I feel I should add a page today about what was going on yesterday.

Before I start, I've been thinking about household dynamics.  There has been a tremendous shift in the dynamic of this house. I used to be out of the house for at least 10 hours of a day (8/9 hour shifts and overtime + commuting time).  Emma worked from home and we (kinda) had jobs in the house / with animals etc that we would get done if we saw they needed it.
Obviously when Emilia was born, the dynamic changed again.  Emma was home and not "working", I was still out for the 10 hours and with my shift-pattern I wasn't necessarily home at weekends; but we settled into a less-than- perfect system where I would do what I could, when I could and we got by with Emma doing the majority of everything.

The dynamic has changed again last week - and is still changing.

***

As the title suggests, Yesterday afternoon I wasn't a happy bunny.

The morning went well: Woke at 6. Bottle til 20 past. Slept til 8. We then had a great time playing with paints at "Messy Play"
We did a piece of art for Mummy - Emilia actually did a lot of it. I did the thick orange line then she smudged it and put the random splodges everywhere with her hands.

(I really need to buy an apron for her as it appears the paint doesn't come out in the wash!)

Emilia and her first piece of art. Note the paint on her too!

As we were leaving the hall, we bumped into Emma, who - apparently - had a quiet day in "the office" and so thought she'd come up and spend some time with us, so we spent an extra 30 minutes being messy.

[Before people think I'm going to get Emma into trouble, she works a 9-5 job however a part of it is that she relies a lot on specialists getting the reports back to her so that she can collate it, format it, check it and present it to the client. Or waiting for quotes or requests to change spreadsheets etc. There are times when there is nothing for her to do, so she used to spend that time food-shopping, tidying the house, etc.

Often the work Emma has been waiting for comes in at the last minute and involves a late night or weekend working so she will do everything that is needed to hit the deadline. She regularly does a 60 hour week and sometimes more.]

For some reason, I got it into my head that as Emma had a quiet day she would be able to help me with Emilia. I wanted to get a few bits and pieces done around the house/garden and thought I'd use Emma for a little light baby-sitting.  Emma has also said how much she missed playing with her. 

Emma had other plans.  Her plans involved reading about weaning, shopping for foods for baby to try and checking out Fb.

I got the feeling that a point was being made...  The point that its not easy to look after a baby and the house.  A point I already knew.  I think that's what annoyed me.

It highlighted something that I just took for granted until yesterday: Running a house (especially one with a baby, a dog, 2 cats and 5 chickens) is more than a 1-person job. 

We've had a number of comments since I started this Paternity Leave when things haven't been done that day (cats fed their wet food - they always have access to cat-biscuits, dog medicated etc) that "It comes under the house-stuff. That's your job now" or "Now do you appreciate all the things I do around the house?". 

I don't think anyone likes to think they've been "taught a lesson" so I was angry yesterday. However I've slept on it and realised that me being home all the time is a lot for both of us to get used to so this is not something to get angry about.

Obviously Emma didn't feel appreciated and that was my fault but I hope that the lesson has been "taught" and we can find our new roles within the house.