What's the time, Mr Wolf?...

...I have no idea.

Since becoming a Stay-at-Home-Dad I've basically stopped wearing a watch.

There's no point. I wake up when Emilia wakes up; I feed her when she's hungry (normally about the same times every day) and I put her back to bed when she's tired.

I had an app on the iPad that I would put timings of when she did certain things (feed/sleep/nappy-change) and it would remind me when the next one was due however it only lasted 2 weeks before I realised i was pre-empting it anyway so it seemed that we had a good routine going.

There are obviously a few times when I need to be somewhere at a certain time but most of those are routine things, like baby-group or similar and they're not overly fussed if you're 10-20 minutes late anyway as they're a drop-in thing.
If it's an appointment, my phone reminds me 30 minutes before I need to leave the house which is normally enough time to check for a last-minute nappy change or bottle, collect everything, dress us both and head out of the house.

Last night i did check my phone when I was woken by a grizzling baby. It was 01:00 exactly! She then spent the next hour and a half refusing to / unable to go back to sleep.
At first I thought it was because her nappy was wet, so I changed it.
Then I thought she might be hungry, so I fed her (she hadn't eaten properly yesterday and was a bottle short by the time she went to bed)
Then Emma thought she might be cold so we put an extra layer on her.
She has a bit of a blocked nose at the moment so we've got a Calpol Diffuser plugged in however it has a built-in night light (well, I say nightlight, it's more like the blinding light of a nuclear explosion) so i unplugged that but then she became bunged up again and couldn't sleep!
Emma eventually took matters into her own hands and went old-school. She wet a flannel, added Olbas oil and left it on the radiator to evaporate. No light and no blocked nose = sleeping baby.

Thank you Emma.

Emilia is now sleeping again. I've decided baby group is a bad idea as she's not well and tired so we're going to have a day of sleeping and reading stories.

Hopefully she'll be better soon and we can go back to normal.

Happy Summer Solstice

Firstly, a little admin:

1. Many of you will hopefully notice the "follow by email" gadget on the right (above the list of posts). Simply type your email address in here and check your email inbox. You should get a confirmation email with a link to activate it. Once activated, you should receive an email every time I update the blog.

2. I have managed to figure out why it was impossible to leave a comment on the blog without a username. This has been fixed and you can now comment away to your hearts' content!

Summer Solstice in Wiltshire

So - on with the proper part of the blog...

Emilia is now exactly 6 months old. She was born on the winter solstice, when the days were at their shortest and our days have just got brighter every day since. (Sorry, I was trying to think of something to end that paragraph with but couldn't think of anything)

We have, in all honesty, had an amazing 6 months. We've learned a lot about ourselves, each other and an amazing amount about Emilia.

Near the beginning of this blog, I said I would put up mile-stones that she was due to reach; that she has reached and that she's not reached yet. 

I've been talking to various professionals (child-carers, physio-therapist) and - just as valid - other Mums. The milestones seem fairly vague but www.babycenter.com has a good month-by-month guide however I've taken the following list from the book "What to Expect. The First Year"

Things she should be doing...

Keeping head level with body when pulled to sitting - Check. Been doing that for a while. 

Saying 'ah-goo' or similar vowel-consonant combinations - Check. I think. She's been "talking" since April but I'm not sure I'm hearing the consonant sounds very much. I'll video her tomorrow and upload as an edit. We'll then see if popular opinion is that she's ah-gooing or just ah-oohing.

Things she will probably be doing...

Bearing some weight on her legs when held upright - Not really. There's a split-second before her legs buckle if you lower her onto a surface but I'm not counting it.

Sit without support - Check. She learned that last weekend (when Emma let her face-plant). However only really perfected it today after I let her fall yesterday. No excuses, I dropped my concentration for literally 1 second to rub my eyes and when i opened them she was on her way backwards. There was nothing I could do but give her a big hug and then distract her with a bell in a cage.

Anyway, she can now look round, follow items up and down with her head and even didn't fall over when the dog surprised her by licking her nose! (There was biscuit on it)

Turning in the direction of a voice. Check. And then grin at you like she hasn't seen you in AGES!!

Raspberry noises. Check, check and check again! She loves doing this and she knows it gets our attention because I can't resist having a raspberry-off with her.

It's even more fun in supermarkets.

Things she may be able to do...

Stand holding onto someone or something. Nope.

Object if you take a toy away. Check. She has a little grizzle if it's a toy but a FIT if it's her bottle before she's finished with it. Even if it's just to adjust your position.

Work to get a toy that's out of reach. She's started to reach out to get toys but, to be honest, feet are as much fun and they're easily accessible.

Pass a cube or other object from one hand to another. Check. She's doing it with food, rattles, dummies but we don't have any cubes... I'm going with a yes on that anyway!

Look for a dropped object. Check. If the desire's great enough and there isn't another one to hand. We may be giving her stuff back to her too quickly.

Pick up a tiny object with a fist. Check. Crumbs and bits of food on the highchair tray.

Babble. I think that I heard a Ma-ma once but it hasn't happened again. So, No. Not yet.

Feed herself finger-foods. Check. She loves feeding herself!

Scores at the doors: 10/14. I'm proud of our little girl. As proud as a Dad can be.

Mr Angry

I feel I should add a page today about what was going on yesterday.

Before I start, I've been thinking about household dynamics.  There has been a tremendous shift in the dynamic of this house. I used to be out of the house for at least 10 hours of a day (8/9 hour shifts and overtime + commuting time).  Emma worked from home and we (kinda) had jobs in the house / with animals etc that we would get done if we saw they needed it.
Obviously when Emilia was born, the dynamic changed again.  Emma was home and not "working", I was still out for the 10 hours and with my shift-pattern I wasn't necessarily home at weekends; but we settled into a less-than- perfect system where I would do what I could, when I could and we got by with Emma doing the majority of everything.

The dynamic has changed again last week - and is still changing.

***

As the title suggests, Yesterday afternoon I wasn't a happy bunny.

The morning went well: Woke at 6. Bottle til 20 past. Slept til 8. We then had a great time playing with paints at "Messy Play"
We did a piece of art for Mummy - Emilia actually did a lot of it. I did the thick orange line then she smudged it and put the random splodges everywhere with her hands.

(I really need to buy an apron for her as it appears the paint doesn't come out in the wash!)

Emilia and her first piece of art. Note the paint on her too!

As we were leaving the hall, we bumped into Emma, who - apparently - had a quiet day in "the office" and so thought she'd come up and spend some time with us, so we spent an extra 30 minutes being messy.

[Before people think I'm going to get Emma into trouble, she works a 9-5 job however a part of it is that she relies a lot on specialists getting the reports back to her so that she can collate it, format it, check it and present it to the client. Or waiting for quotes or requests to change spreadsheets etc. There are times when there is nothing for her to do, so she used to spend that time food-shopping, tidying the house, etc.

Often the work Emma has been waiting for comes in at the last minute and involves a late night or weekend working so she will do everything that is needed to hit the deadline. She regularly does a 60 hour week and sometimes more.]

For some reason, I got it into my head that as Emma had a quiet day she would be able to help me with Emilia. I wanted to get a few bits and pieces done around the house/garden and thought I'd use Emma for a little light baby-sitting.  Emma has also said how much she missed playing with her. 

Emma had other plans.  Her plans involved reading about weaning, shopping for foods for baby to try and checking out Fb.

I got the feeling that a point was being made...  The point that its not easy to look after a baby and the house.  A point I already knew.  I think that's what annoyed me.

It highlighted something that I just took for granted until yesterday: Running a house (especially one with a baby, a dog, 2 cats and 5 chickens) is more than a 1-person job. 

We've had a number of comments since I started this Paternity Leave when things haven't been done that day (cats fed their wet food - they always have access to cat-biscuits, dog medicated etc) that "It comes under the house-stuff. That's your job now" or "Now do you appreciate all the things I do around the house?". 

I don't think anyone likes to think they've been "taught a lesson" so I was angry yesterday. However I've slept on it and realised that me being home all the time is a lot for both of us to get used to so this is not something to get angry about.

Obviously Emma didn't feel appreciated and that was my fault but I hope that the lesson has been "taught" and we can find our new roles within the house.

To TV or not to TV? That is the question.

Before I took over baby-care, I had had a real 'thing' about the TV. I am personally very distracted by the TV if its on. I don't even have to want to watch the program but if its on and within my sight, I pay it far more attention than is suitable.

So I created a rule for myself that I won't put the TV on during the day (unless Emilia's sleeping, I've prepared everything for the next period of awake-ness and even done all the house-work I need). So I would very rarely put the TV on during the day!

I broke that rule today and it took me 15 minutes to change Emilia's nappy! It was Baby
TV so I wasn't exactly struggling to follow the storyline or some clever plot twist but we both fell silent and watched Oliver Discovers. (I can't even remember what he discovered but I was obviously enjoying it!)

For those who don't know what Oliver Discovers...

New rule: no tv in the morning. 

As we're weaning, lunch seems to be a long, messy process involving a lot of food put onto the high chair, then being spread over the clothes worn... and hands... And face... And high chair and I have no idea how much actually being eaten.

So after all that fun, I think 10 minutes of relaxation and watching TV is not so bad.

                                      

I've got that Friday feeling!

It's nice when people comment on the things you do.

I've now had a couple of people say they love the blog (although, annoyingly not actually on the blog comments - so you'll just have to take my word for it)

I also had a lie-in this morning as Emilia was obviously tired from yesterday's day of stresses and slept til about 7!

We then went to "Play and Learn" where I made 2 school-boy errors:

1. Went while she was a little tired

2. Forgot dummies and - stupidly -thought that we'd be fine for a couple of hours without it

We sat about and talked and watched other children play. 

Apparently (according to the physio) I need to allow her to fall over when she's sitting uptight as if I keep catching her she'll take longer to learn to catch herself... I tried today, but I felt like it was my job, as a father, to catch her. 

There is also a certain feeling of being assessed when you're a man with your daughter and are surrounded by mothers with their children. "Can he really be as caring as a mother?" "He won't be as in tune to his daughter's needs" and so you don't want be judged as allowing your daughter to fall over because you weren't watching.

...or that might be paranoia.

One thing makes me feel a little better is that that afternoon I had left her in Emma's care while I showered after a run.

I took a photo of them just before I got into the 

shower and then about 30 seconds into my shower I heard proper crying. Emma came into the bathroom with Emilia and said that Emilia had face-planted into the carpet because Emma hadn't caught her!

I don't think it did any harm as there was no crying by the time they came into the bathroom.

Wow... I wasn't expecting this!

OK. I said this was going to be an honest account of how hard it is to look after a little one for 6 months, here goes:

So today was difficult. - "I-told-you-so" is not a helpful response, mothers!

When I started this on Monday (and Tuesday to an extent) it was an easy life. Emilia would sleep for 15 of the 24 hours that the day has been divided into and I could fill the other 9 hours with feeding, playing, singing nonsense and "dancing" about the house with her in my arms.

The biggest concern I had was how I was going to keep my brain from turning to mush during the days and what I could do to encourage Emilia's development while I had her to myself.

---

Yesterday, all that changed. Yesterday we woke at 04:something for a bottle and then went back to bed for a couple of hours but that was the last she saw of the inside of her eyelids until 19:00 when she was bathed and put to bed.
I knew from what little experience I had (i.e. I had been told by Emma) that without decent naps during the day, she would not sleep well at night. We had already bought tickets for Iron Man 3 (I'm not going to get sidetracked with a review here) and organised a baby-sitter so when she came round at 19:00 I ran through the problems we had had and explained that we were just down the road etc if needed and we went off to enjoy ourselves for 2 and a half hours.

We got back to a soundly sleeping baby and no reports of anything other than peace and quite in the time we were away. I thought I may have been misinformed. I hadn't been...


We had a couple of sleeping grizzles during the night which woke me up enough to go and check on her but she was sleeping. She then woke up at 04:45 for a bottle. Not too bad but we got up for the day at 07:24.

I don't know what was wrong with her today but she didn't sleep in the morning and slept for about 30 minutes after baby group.
She then drained a bottle at about 15:00 and fell asleep in my arms but every time I got up to go upstairs with her she would wake up and she point-blank refused to go back to sleep in her own cot.

I was the only place she would sleep and it meant I couldn't and I couldn't do any house-work either. Not that that's a bad thing in itself, but the house is now trashed and it's depressing me.

I will be honest, I struggled today. I'm running out of ways to be entertaining / interesting and am running out of energy too.
I think I'm sleeping the right number of hours but they're broken hours.

To give you an idea, the books recommend that at 6 months old she should be having 2 naps, totalling 3-4 hours and then be sleeping for 10-11 hours at night.

Roll-on Saturday!

Difficult second day

I don't like these early starts! And they seem to be getting earlier! 

This was a 0445hours start this morning and I wasn't in the best of moods!

Don't get mr wrong, as soon as I walked into her bedroom, I was smiles and happy voices however for the 3 seconds it took me to muster the energy to raise myself from my very comfy pillow, I wasn't happy!

As soon as I walked into her room and saw her lying sideways in her cot, grinning at me - all was forgiven and we had all of a bottle before going back to sleep for another couple of hours. Bliss.

I can see why Emma didn't want to give this up to go back to work.

Other than that, today was very similar to yesterday except we went to see the physio this morning instead of Mother and Baby group so I feel more manly (and very proud that my daughter was described as "perfect" and "cute") however there's not a lot else to report.

Whilst talking to the physio I was asking about how accurate the "milestones" are that babies should be getting to and she said they were very flexible so I thought I'd use this opportunity to see how Emilia matches up...

That'll start tomorrow because its now half 11 and I'm not looking forward to a 4am start tomorrow!

So far, so good

This morning, I was rudely awoken by a grizzly baby at almost exactly 5 am.

I got up, took her downstairs and fed her her bottle. 21 minutes later, she was back in her cot and I was drifting off to a lovely 2 and a half more hours of sleep.

We woke up again at 8 and I got her dressed. So far so good. Admittedly, the dress I put her in was a little on the small side however it fits and I didn't worry about it too much... We just wont be wearing it again.

We had another bottle and went off to a group thing that I'd been to before called "Bumps and Babies" which basically consists of mums sitting round, chatting and watching their children play with the toys provided. Not a bad way to spend 3 mornings a week.

Emilia and I joined in with our respective roles (she played, and I chatted). As I say, I'd been a couple of times before and so knew at least 3 of the women there and the others recognised Emilia so made me feel welcome. 

I can already feel the testosterone leaching from my body!

We got home at about midday so Emilia was tired and went to bed for an hour!

We then played for a little in her jump-a-roo and then it was lunchtime.

Emilia in her jump-a-roo.

Emma joined me in feeding her blueberry mush and toast, having something to eat and then disappeared back upstairs.

Emilia is now sleeping and will probably be there for 2 hours. Then a feed and a couple of hours play and bath and bed. Will update...

*update*

In bed by 1900 hours and a total of 15 hours sleep in last 24!

A foreword...

Right, I've got 6 months of being the primary carer to our little girl.

I thought I'd use this blog as a way of showing how hard or easy it really is to be a stay-at-home-parent.

A couple of things I ought to mention first:

1. Emilia is - by all accounts - a very good natured baby. She's not colic-y and sleeps well at night.

2. My wife works from home. She works bloody hard but when she has her lunch she can eat it downstairs with me and Emilia.

Because of those reasons I'm not expecting this to be overly stressful however I am looking forward to what the next 6 months will bring...