Disclaimer

Please note, this blog does not constitute parenting advice in any way. Please do not attempt to recreate any stunts shown on this blog at home.
The author accepts no liability for any losses or injury caused. yada...yada...yada

Monday 25 November 2013

Bee baba bada bab...

...I'm a scatman.

Today was another first.

Today she discovered her own poo.

Emma has been attempting to introduce the potty. Not in any "You will sit there until you use it!" type way, but more of a "Look at this interesting seat. It's where we sit after a meal".

So Emilia sat for all of about a minute before deciding she was bored and went for a crawl. She was sitting on the floor, playing with bunny one minute and then playing with a brown lump the next. Somehow she had done the biggest poo on the hardwood floor and then picked it up and started poking it with a finger.
There was no straining. There were no tell-tell signs that she was going to poo at all. She was clean one minute and poking a piece of poo the next!

You'll be glad to know, I'm sure, that there are no photos of this incident as we were both too busy gently stopping her from smearing it everywhere, while at the same time, trying not to scare her and laughing uncontrollably.


So a quick, smooth wipe-up later and then rushed upstairs for an early bath!


I did find this though...

Monday 18 November 2013

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

...it's off to work we go - if only for a weekend.

I had a lovely weekend this weekend (well, a long one anyway)!

I decided to use a couple of Keep In Touch days with work to
         a) catch up with my collegues,
         b) remind myself what I was supposed to do when I do eventually go back to work and
         c) work out what child-care arrangements will be needed the morning after working a 'late' shift

So Friday started as usual (at 0530hrs) and I did the usual thing of following Emilia around the house as she tried (and often succeeded) to open and close every draw, door and flap within reach; and press every button on every piece of electronic equipment within reach.
I stay out of her way until she's about to hurt herself (or sometimes just after she's hurt herself a little but before she hurts herself a lot) which means I'm constantly moving and constantly watching those little hands.

At lunchtime, I passed her over to Emma so I could quickly shower, change and start my commute to work.

Now I was expecting to be a little slow getting started at work. Remembering what "real" work was but I didn't realise that the electronic world would be against me! I got in to find that my computer password had expired, my PDA had forgotten who i was and needed replacing and the number 1 on my work mobile was refusing to register no matter how hard I pressed.

Luckily I had given myself a bit of extra time to get these things sorted before the shift started but it definitely started me on the wrong footing!

I had the usual "Ah, you must be the new boy"; "Hi, Sir, you seem lost. Can I help you find anything?"; "Barber closed today?" (I've let my hair grow a little and I've grown a beard as a nod to my new responsible self) but generally I fitted back in easily - to the point where at the end of the shift, it felt like I had never left.

So I got home at 2am, checked on Emilia - looking as cute as a button and snoring gently - and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

3 hours later I was woken by a grumpy Emma stomping around getting Emilia a bottle for her morning feed and Emilia deciding that she wasn't going back to sleep for love nor money (actually, I don't know if Emma tried the money thing, but I doubt she would have taken it up).

I think I must have sighed, or looked at my watch because, as-quick-as-a-flash I heard "Just 2 hours. Can you deal with her for just 2 hours. Then I'll get up. I promise". I didn't have the energy to argue so I rolled out of bed, plastered the best "Good Morning, Sweetie" smile I could muster and tried to be cheery for 2 hours.

I then slept til midday, walked the dog, quick shower and back to work.

Day 2 was as smooth as silk. Technology didn't fail me and all the things I was worried I'd forget came flooding back as though I hadn't been away for 4 months. at all.

So what have I learned from this that I can pass on to anyone thinking about doing this too?

a) the jokes don't change
b) it takes a little while but you'll be amazed how fast it comes back
c) we DEFINITELY need child-care the morning after I do a late shift!

Monday 4 November 2013

I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it

Please don't judge me on this.

She was doing so well with her crawling but a sudden lapse in concentration and...


If you listen very closely, you'll here 2 stifled sniggers as she lands. We are bad parents...